The Phrases given by A Dad That Rescued Us when I became a Brand-New Father

"I think I was simply just surviving for a year."

Former Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey thought he would to cope with the demands of being a father.

Yet the truth soon turned out to be "utterly different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health complications during the birth saw his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was thrust into becoming her chief support in addition to taking care of their newborn son Leo.

"I took on each nighttime feed, every nappy change… every stroll. The job of both mum and dad," Ryan shared.

Following 11 months he reached burnout. It was a chat with his parent, on a bench in the park, that led him to understand he needed help.

The simple words "You are not in a good place. You must get assistance. What can I do to help you?" created an opening for Ryan to express himself truthfully, seek support and regain his footing.

His experience is not uncommon, but seldom highlighted. Although society is now more accustomed to addressing the pressure on mums and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the struggles dads go through.

Asking for help is not weak to seek assistance

Ryan thinks his difficulties are linked to a wider failure to talk amongst men, who continue to internalise damaging ideas of masculinity.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the harbour wall that just gets smashed and remains standing with each wave."

"It's not a sign of weakness to request help. I failed to do that quick enough," he clarifies.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher who studies mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to acknowledge they're struggling.

They can think they are "not a legitimate person to be asking for help" - especially in preference to a mother and child - but she emphasises their mental well-being is just as important to the family.

Ryan's chat with his dad offered him the opportunity to ask for a respite - going on a few days overseas, separate from the home environment, to gain perspective.

He realised he had to make a change to pay attention to his and his partner's emotions in addition to the practical tasks of caring for a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd failed to notice "what she longed for" -holding her hand and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has reshaped how Ryan sees fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he wishes his son will read as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will assist his son better understand the vocabulary of feelings and understand his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen did not have stable male parenting. Even with having an "incredible" connection with his dad, profound difficult experiences resulted in his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, affecting their relationship.

Stephen says repressing feelings caused him to make "bad decisions" when he was younger to change how he was feeling, turning in drink and drugs as a way out from the anguish.

"You gravitate to things that aren't helpful," he says. "They can temporarily change how you are feeling, but they will in the end cause more harm."

Tips for Getting By as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you feel overwhelmed, speak to a family member, your partner or a therapist what you're going through. This can to lighten the load and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - make time for the pursuits that made you feel like you before having a baby. It could be playing sport, seeing friends or a favourite hobby.
• Look after the body - a good diet, physical activity and where possible, resting, all are important in how your mental state is faring.
• Spend time with other new dads - sharing their experiences, the challenges, and also the positive moments, can help to validate how you're feeling.
• Understand that asking for help is not failure - prioritising your own well-being is the most effective way you can look after your household.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen understandably found it hard to accept the passing, having had no contact with him for a long time.

As a dad now, Stephen's determined not to "repeat the pattern" with his own son and instead provide the safety and emotional support he missed out on.

When his son is about to have a tantrum, for example, they practise "shaking the feelings out" together - managing the emotions constructively.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they faced their pain, changed how they communicate, and learned to manage themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… sitting with things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I wrote that in a note to Leo recently," Ryan adds. "I expressed, sometimes I feel like my role is to instruct and tell you how to behave, but in reality, it's a dialogue. I am understanding as much as you are in this journey."